faith

We were talking about faith at my small group meeting on Monday night. The question asked was, does everyone have faith? Steve's answer was yes - you either have faith in a higher power or you have faith that there is no higher power.

I was thinking back to my teenage and early 20's and I used to sit on the side that said there was no higher power or I believed "something" was out there but I didn't believe they created everything etc...how far I have come in my faith.

Probably one of the best explainations of this came from Steve's class last year...you can believe there is a God and that Jesus was who he said he was, if you are right you ultimately "win" everything. If you are wrong, you won't know until you are dead and you haven't really lost anything. If there is a God and you deny him your entire life then you lose everything because you had the chance to have believe but you turned it down and now it is too late.

I like how rational this is because even for people who need proof that there is a God, the above explanation at least shows some rationality. Mind you, I don't think you should only believe in God because of rational thinking. I think that believing in God calls for some irrationality because many times believing in God means going against the grain of today's popular culture.

Tomorrow is Abbi's four month check up - yes even though she is 4.5 months old. She has to get her immunization shots and be weighed etc...Not looking forward to it but will be glad when it is over. I think I am enjoying being home a little bit more with each week. It isn't that I miss work, but I sometimes miss life before baby. You really have no idea how much things change until it happens to you. As she matures and shows more emtion it is easier and easier to love her and I can't imagine not having her. I also sometimes look at her and wonder how people can hurt children. I looked at her the other day and I couldn't help think about how Ricky Martin said on Oprah that he heard of a man who paid $10,000 to have sex (rape) a five month old baby. I looked at her and thought what a horrific thing. How could anyone do that? I also think about how I was molested as a young child and am starting to grasp how my mom felt when she found out.

heavy topics. grey day.