New Year's Eve

Well I will make this quick. I have been off line for a while. Had a great Christmas and had a very good time with our family. It was sad though because Jane couldn't be with us - the boys had the flu.

Abbi was amazing. She loved entertaining and getting lots of attention. She also LOVED Jake.

Tonight is New Year's eve. It is such a funny thing. I really could care less about ringing in the new year. It is just another night as far as I am concerned but hopefully I will have a bit of fun. Adria, Dan and Christine are going to come over and play board games. Steve is working.

My mom is doing okay but I still worry about her a lot. I know that there is nothing I can do but love her, spend time with her and be there for her but it is soooo hard to let go.

Gotta run, Abbi is fussing.

Big Girl in Crib 

Great Grandma Duncan 

6 months 

big news

This has been a big week. We found out that Adria and Dan are expecting. She is due on June 17th - two days after Abbi's birthday. I am so excited for them both and pray that everything will go well for them.

I am also finding myself growing more into this whole motherhood role. It hasn't been easy but I feel like I am getting better at things. I don't think I have blown up at Steve for quite a while. He has been working like crazy the last little bit and I have been very understanding and patient. That might end because he went to a Christmas party in Woodstock last night and stayed up until after 5am! I won't have much sympathy for him today I can say that much. We are going to church and then to a Christmas gathering this afternoon. I will make sure he doesn't cop out of it! Abbi got up at 5:30am this morning so I was up then too!

I hope to go away for a night soon. I am not sure where I will go but I think it might be time for me to go somewhere over night.

getting used to this

I think I am getting more and more used to this mom stuff. I can't say it is getting easier because with each stage/age there is a new challenge but I think I am enjoying myself more and not getting too stressed about stuff. Although I haven't been sleeping very well at all and I am wondering what is causing this. I sleep soundly for the first few hours and then toss and turn for hours after that.

We are going to see Steve's grandma tomorrow in TO. She hasn't met Abbi yet and since she is 96 we feel we better do this soon. Hopefully the car ride is fine and she sleeps most of the way.

I finally have a few picture where Abbi is smiling. The little monkey will smile, smile, smile until you pull out a camera.

Equality

I think I know now what has been bugging me so much. I was raised in the era of equality for women. Somewhere along the way I began to think that equality meant a 50/50 split. While this is great ideally, I don't think it is possible. I don't think men are wired to care for children like women. The only problem is how do I tell my brain that this is the case because my brain is screaming for the 50/50. I guess just constant reminders....

Things are good. I took Abbi to get photos done today. No smiles for the camera. She makes me laugh..Oh well - at least she didn't cry.

get me back inside! 

snowy day Dec 2 

typing with one hand should be some sort of sport! i am getting used to it though. life is good except for some headaches i am getting. i wonder if mr hormones are acting up because i'm not breastfeeding any more. i miss it but the bottle feeding is ok too. Abbi is starting to squirm a lot when i try to feed her but i find that if i let her play with my face & hair it keeps her happy.

i think she is either teething or her ear is still bugging her because she has been cranky today. Although her cranky is most mother's dream i am sure. my mom is coming for a visit tomorrow. i am excited to see her.

ciao

white wash

A white wash has fallen over London today. I think we have had a foot of snow since 7am. It is beautiful but I am sure the roads will be really bad today. I do love the look of snow though. It is truly a magical thing. It makes everything so clean and bright...and innocent looking. I think when Steve gets home from work I will suggest that I shovel the snow while he takes care of Abbi. Then I can get some exercise and just enjoy being outside...

Abbi is getting over her cold. She is breathing out of her nose again. I was looking at her this morning and trying to picture what she will look like as a little girl. I honestly can't believe she is almost 6 months already. How fortunate I am to be able to take almost a year off of work. I feel truly blessed. We are very lucky to have that benefit here in Canada. I know in the US and in many countries in Europe it is a much shorter time frame. I know ours used to be as well. I can't imagine going back after 4 months or sooner. I think that is when Chantal went back. And I don't think Jane ever took more than 6 months because doctors don't even get EI. How blessed I am!

50/50

Yesterday I had coffee with Amy and she said something that really hit home. She said that one of her friends recently said to her the sooner you give up the myth that men and women can have a 50/50 split, the sooner you will be able to enjoy things more. It is funny but I honestly believed that marriage could be 50/50 and in our case, I think before Abbi came along things were pretty evenly divided. Sure there were weeks where I felt I was doing everything and I am sure Steve felt the same way but now that Abbi is here, I just don't see us ever having a 50/50 split again. I fear that when I go back to work a lot of the stuff that I do now will still be expected because men just can't multi-task like women.

So my new goal is to remind myself every day that the 50/50 split is a myth. I will likely always carry more on my shoulders but hey- I am strong. I am a woman afterall! I am sure I will have momentary bouts of bitterness but that is normal isn't it?