Time with Morrie

I started reading Tuesdays with Morrie again this week. I read it many years ago - likely 6 years ago and I must say that it has a whole new meaning. I was reading it and crying this afternoon and Steve said " no wonder you can't sleep reading sad books like that." But I feel as though getting in touch with my emotions is liberating me.

The book means so much more now that I am a parent, and of course now that mom is sick. While I could relate to the book before, now it is speaking to me as though I am sitting with Morrie as he teaches on Tuesdays. I started to underline sections and fold over pages like one does to a textbook. This is a textbook but it is likely one of the most meaningful topics for a textbook - life.

Morrie repeats over and over this mantra, "once you learn how to die, you learn how to live." While this thought seems incredibly morbid. Morrie is speaking to the heart and is saying material things don't matter, when you realize you are dying, you learn what is really important and cherish every momment you have doing and feeling those important things.

I love how on page 71 Morrie describes what he will do with his best friend who is deaf when Morrie can no longer speak and Maurie (his friend) cannot hear. Morrie says, "We will hold hands, and there'll be a lot of love passing between us...we've had 35 years of friendship. You don't need speech or hearing to feel that."

I couldn't say it any better. I must say, I feel as though I am reading the right book, at the right time.

another crazy start to another crazy week

I can’t believe it is only Tuesday. This week seems like it will never end. I had a call yesterday morning from my work with some restructuring news. I found out that my boss lost her job yesterday in the restructuring and that three of my friends/ co-workers will be moving to other areas before I return to work. I was shocked and saddened by this news. Then today I spoke with someone from work who filled me in on upcoming opportunities as well as more about what is happening with my present role. It seems as though these is more than meets the eye and that my maternity replacement has been having a very tough year. She actually at one point gave her notice. Needless to say I found this all a little bit stressful. Through this however it has again reminded me to play more and worry less. This time off that I have right now is so precious and I can’t replace it. I also know how incredibly lucky we are in Canada to have this option if we want it.
The other issue that is weighing heavily on me is that we are having major house issues. We live in a beautiful Victorian house and found out that we likely need to replace a main sewer. We aren’t sure where the money will come from but it needs to be done. Sometimes the stresses of being a “grown-up” just don’t seem worth it.
At times like this reflection and journaling are so important for me. I am thankful for this outlet. I also know that while job and house stuff can be stressful, I need to use perspective. What is most important to me right now is my family and my health. Being stressed about the small stuff (or big stuff) will only hinder the situation. I need to let my stress go and release it back to the universe ( or God). I am and will be provided for.
This Thursday is my mom’s final chemo therapy treatment. I am happy for her knowing that she won’t have to go through this again unless she decides to. I am happy that in about two weeks she will be able to feel a bit better and not have the dreaded feeling of another treatment knocking her off of her feet, I am glad that before I go back to work I can spend some quality time with her and Abbi and we can do the stuff that grandma’s like to do with their grandchildren. I am glad that my dad will be able to have a chance to not take care of my mom 24/7 and he can enjoy the company of a “healthier wife.”

teeth from hell

OK, I know that we have been spoiled with our little angel of a baby but I think that teething is making up for it! She had one nap today and then decided to stay up from 12:20pm until 6:45pm. She went to bed finally just before 7pm and woke up crying about 20 min. later. I have put her down again but if she wakes again I will give her some pain relief. Poor thing> I feel bad for her but boy oh boy is it tiring when you get no break during the day. I did take Abbi to the doctor today to make sure it wasn't an ear infection. Luckily her ears are great.

I know it could be a lot worse. On a down note, friends of friends lost their one month old baby on the weekend. It died in it's crib. I don't know any details other then that the mom went to feed the baby and get it out of the crib and the baby had died. It does help you to gain perspective. I can't imagine how they feel right now.

I have to go and get caught up on school work. Four courses was a mistake I think!

I am waiting for a class to begin. It has been a long week and it isn't even hump day yet. Monday was pretty bad. I was really at my wit's end. Today was better. She had her naps again but I put her down to bed and 30 min after she woke up crying. I rubbed more teething gel on her gums and she went back down but she is a bit of a mystery.

Feel bad for her...

teething sucks

OMG! Today I am at my wit's end and the day isn't even half over...well it is close. Abbi woke up twice last night and has only had 40 minutes today total of sleep time. She is soooo over tired and grumpy I don't know what to do. I have given her advil and teething gel but nothing is helping. I feel bad for her but am so frustrated. I am glad Steve has been here part of the day to help.

School is also freaking me out. Well she is crying again. Gotta go.