7 months

Today marks 7 months since mom passed away. I am home sick and feeling kind of down today. I think when I am feeling under the weather I miss her more. Does everyone want their mom when they are sick? Will I be 75 and still missing my mom when I feel a little sick?

I have been reading and reflecting more about stuff and it is helping me deal with the feelings rather than holding them in but it is still hard because I feel I have no one around who understands me. I feel often as if I am alone. I know others around me have gone through similar grief but I don't feel a strong connection to anyone else.

I feel like I relate to my cousin Joan and how she felt after her mom died. She seemed obsessed by it and that is sometimes how I feel. Not always but sometimes....

7 months without her seems like an eternity....miss you mom and I love you.

A time to mend

With 6 months going by since mom passed away I feel it is time to get serious about dealing with my grief. I have taken some books out of the library on a variety of subjects and want to explore ways of handling my feelings. Mostly, I need an outlet to relate to others and know that I am in a process.

I don't get a chance to talk about it as much as I feel I would like. I talk about mom quite a bit but I don't have an outlet to talk about my feelings, my fears, my hopes and my dreams.

I hope that the books will allow me some of the outlet I am looking for. I miss her so much and feel as though I am masking my feelings. When I talk to my dad it is as if she is still near me. If something happens to him then I will really be lost.