A little bit of heaven

It is 6:45am and I am the only one up. I went to bed early last night expecting Abbi to get up like she has been but low and behold, she made it through the night last night. I woke up at 4:12 thinking, WHY haven't I heard her. It took some time to go back to sleep but then I was awake at 6am and couldn't fall back asleep.

I like being the only one up in the mornings. When it happens (not often), it gives me time to think. It is funny because it seems forever since Abbi slept through the night but then when it happens again you can't help but think if something is wrong. I have to remind myself that she is in God's hands.

I was thinking of my mom while lying in bed. I was thinking of the last weekend we had with her and how we all got to be with her at her bedside. I was thinking how when Adria and Amy came to visit she asked them to take care of me. Just typing that makes me cry. Knowing that you are going to die and not being able to control or have influence on your family anymore must be heartbreaking. I am sure that mom is watching over us somehow but still. Those words just really affected me.

At the chalet her coverup was still hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Abbi wanted to play with it. Dad said it was okay to let her. She had fun wrapping it around her neck and dragging it around. Dad picked it up and smelled it and said it still smelled like mom. I caught myself a few times last weekend smelling it for comfort. I miss her smell.